Waiting for…

I’m not sure what am I still waiting for… for you to call? For you to say “hello” the next time we cross paths? A text? An inbox? A DM? am I still waiting for you?

Truth is I have tried to move on, not to think about you, not to try and work you into the conversation every time I’m having a coffee with my friends, not to remember what you told me when we first met while I’m trying to concentrate on a test, not to miss your kisses when I’m trying to sleep at night… But it’s too hard. Because pretending is hard. Lying is hard.

I miss you. I can get over you.

Not yet.

I often think that I should have tried harder, I should have been the one who called you, asked you out one more time, told you that I loved you before you said goodbye.

But the little logic that my brain still beholds, reminds me that you didn’t want me to try at all, you weren’t waiting for my call, you wouldn’t want to go out one more time because if you had wanted so you would have said “hi” that one time we saw each other at a bar. But you didn’t want to.

What am I still waiting for?

I guess you were the last one… I gotta find somebody new, someone different to wait on. Because, honestly, I don’t even know what am I still waiting for.