Down the road

Maggie: I love you.

Antoine: …

Maggie: And down the road I’ve learned that there’s no way to love you more, to love you less. I love you as I have always loved you. From the first day when we met, to this day. I love you, Antoine. You always knew that, right?

 

A: I haven’t forgotten the night you visited me at the hospital… when I had that heart attack and my son called you because he thought I was about to die.

M: I would never forget that call. I felt my whole world collapse.

A: I heard him while he was calling you, I told him not to.

M: Why?

A: I’m not sure. I wasn’t sure that I was about to die so I thought there was no point on alarming you. But also, I considered dying, and I wasn’t sure I wanted you to watch me die anyway… I knew how it felt watching someone you love slowly go… and I didn’t wanted that for you.

 

M: So when your wife died…

A: So unfair.

M: True… Judy was amazing.

A: Honestly, she was indeed. Weren’t you jealous of her all this time?

M: Jealous? Not for a second, she had cancer, remember?

A: Don’t be mean, you know what kind of jealous I’m talking about. Not that you wanted her life but maybe…

M: Not. Maybe nothing, my love.

 

M: Remember when you had your first kid?

A: As if it were yesterday.

M: You were such a dork back in the days.

A: What you mean by “a dork”?

M: You know! Adorable but kind of dump haha

A: Kind of dump! What a thing to say!

M: Don’t sweat it, boy! All men are dorks when they are new parents.

A: I guess so… I must admit it’s one of the scariest yet most amusing parts of life.

M: Being a new parent… So many feelings, fears, dreams…

A: Now you are being a dork…

M: Ha! Is there any other way to be a parent?

 

M: Ugh, the divorce. Remember my divorce? I always wonder why I married him in the first place.

A: Because you had his kid.

M: Yes, right, that’s the logical answer but that wasn’t it. I had options. I could have chosen to be a single mother or abortion!

A: You couldn’t possibly, you were too proud of yourself to give anyone a chance to judge you.

M: Can’t deny it… I tried so hard to make it look like that was all I wanted: a family, a husband, a kid…

A: Though it wasn’t.

M: You were the only one who ever knew the truth.

A: That it was a mistake? That you, Maggie-the-perfect, messed up?

M: I didn’t even admit it to my mother. I regret that so much, you know?

A: Never ever told her?

M: Never-ever told anyone but you.

A: Woah… why? You know that humans do make mistakes, right Maggie?

M: Not me, you said it, Maggie-the-perfect… I couldn’t deal with it any other way. I couldn’t believe I had messed up my whole damn life in one night.

A: So you weren’t just lying to everyone… you were also lying to yourself.

M: Saying that it had been my intention to have that kid made me feel less stupid. I knew what everyone was thinking: poor stupid girl who felt in love with his professor and got pregnant. Such a cliché! Oh no, sir, I wasn’t going to be that stupid kiddo. No way. I had to do it. I had to affirm that I had everything under control, I was so decided to turn it all around… but how little I knew, ha… Anyway, even if I now regret it, I know it was the only thing that helped me go through it at that moment.

A: Lying?

M: Stop saying that I lied. I said that that was part of the plan to get me where I wanted and it actually did, by marrying Charles, a well known writer, a Chicago Tribune columnist, a professor of the Art Institute of Chicago, I got included in the top writing circles and God knows if without that green-card as a husband I would had made it to where I did.

A: You certainly would have, Maggie. Don’t fool yourself now, it’s been so long and there’s no wrong in admitting a past mistake.

 

M: And college; those million classes we had together… Ugh so painful.

A: Shut up, you still loved me then.

M: Of course I did, that’s why it was so painful

A: Well, I hated you, that’s why it was painful for me.

M: Why did you hate me?

A: You know well the answer. Or shall I say, the answer’s name…

 

A: Remember that Halloween we wore matching costumes and we strolled through the city the whole day long wearing them …

M: Don’t…

A: …Our trip to the cemetery, the “trick and treat” part, all the candy we stole from those kids and…

M: Don’t bring back that memory, Antoine, please!

A: …the party we crashed when the night came, what we did before it got us to jail for the first time! And I recall you were so afraid, and for the first time also I was the brave one, I stood up to the cop just as I did to your parents later that night.

M: …

A: Well, I guess you remember… Say something. You can’t deny it was so good.

M: Doesn’t it bother you to remember it was?

A: Bothers me? Why would it? Every time I think about it, I smile.

M: But it’s not a happiness smile, it’s a nostalgic smile, my dear.

A: What’s the difference? I smile because it was good.

M: Well, that’s why it bothers me so much. It was so good but so ephemeral. For so long it represented everything I would miss in the time to come… That was the day I felt alive for the first time, the day I knew what love was, what freedom felt like, while being behind that mask, not being me but a different self, I realized how it felt not to care about what others think, and what it meant having someone to trust, being sure that someone would have your back no matter what, not being afraid. I’ve never felt that way again, and that’s why I can’t bear to remember that day. It was one in a million; I’ve never had a day like that before, and I’ve never had a day like that after.

 

A: Have you realized that they day we broke up… was the day it all started?

M: …

A: When you called me at 3 am after that big, stupid fight… and you told me you loved me and that you just wanted to make it clear that it was because of all that love that you were choosing to let me go.

M: Wasn’t the Halloween adventure before our break up?

A: No. But you know that. I loved you more when we broke up.

M: You loved me more when you didn’t have me, what a shame, all men are the same.

A: Halloween was two months after our break up, we had started talking again a few weeks before…

M: I know… And I also remember I told you I wanted to do something for Halloween…

A: And I knew how much you loved Halloween

M: So instead of just suggesting a normal thing to do, scary-movies marathon, trick or treat night…

A: I planned the whole thing. Well, except for the cops part.

M: Oh! So you planned the party crashing and the pot and…

A: Before you accuse me of planning our first time too, I must assure you that was just a silver linning!

M: I don’t believe you.

A: I don’t need you to believe me, I’ve never had.

M: So back to the point, seems like I was right again.

A: What are you talking about?

M: About letting you go. You just said that was the day when it all started.

A: Oh no, if you hadn’t let me go everything would have happened anyway but more nicely.

M: You know it wouldn’t. We wouldn’t have passed from the high-school-sweethearts label.

A: So what you are saying is you were damn sure that by breaking my heart we could go past that label to what was about to unfold between us, a lifetime relationship.

M: Damn sure I was, you are right.

A: You’re wicked. And you are heartless… yet you called me that night saying you loved me.

M: I called you at 3 am that night because I knew you hated me at that moment but I wanted to make sure that you’ll love me down the road.

A: …

M: And now… that we’ve been down the road, darling… would you say you love me?

A: …

M: Do you, Antoine?

A: I hate… I hate to do this. But I guess I must admit you were right all this time… Yes, you were always right, Maggie. And I love you.

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100* This Love

We’ve hit 100 posts about 100 songs in this blog!

And after writing about a hundred songs, all from different artists and from a wide range of music genres, times and backgrounds, I was wondering what have changed for me, in this blog but also in my life…

 

I started writing posts about music two years ago and the first song I wrote about was Wild Heart by The Vamps just after I listened to it for the first time. The beginning of that post reads:

This week one of my best friends –with the best music taste– shared with me a song from a british boyband. I felt surprised when I saw it wasn’t One Direction nor The Wanted but a not so popular band with one less singer “The Vamps”.

At the time I was fully a Directioner, previously I had been fan of all Disney artists from Miley to the Jonas Brothers. I could sing to every song in the radio as if I had studied the lyrics before, actually, and the people who know me won’t let me lie about this, I could sing to almost every song including Guns and Roses, Bon Jovi or Bryan Adams (all time favs). Well, I still do…

However by the end of that post I also mentioned something about road trips, friends and running away… Luckily for me I’ve made lots of road trips with friends already and in some way I’m always on the run. But also, two years later, The Vamps has turned out to be one of my favorite bands ever; I love their covers, video blogs, new album and, simply, I love them!

While realizing that I didn’t know anything about them before I wrote that post and the fact that I didn’t imagined I would become so obsessed with their sound after I published it, I’ve realized that life resembles a lot to music in the way that at first we are all strangers but you never now who might end up being your boyfriend, your best friend or even your hero.

This love for music unites. For me, it’s fascinating to see the way music brings together a variety of people that otherwise would hardly meet. For instance, take concerts: kids, teenagers, young adults, ADULTS and everyone there is enjoying the same moment together and singing along to the power of music regardless of their differences!

Ultimately that’s what I love about music; it’s an experience that’s better if shared because it connects you with those you have around and also the ones who are far away and at times even with those who have long left…

Weird thing is that I started this part of my blog by writing about some random band I didn’t know and today I’m celebrating with this classic band I’ve always adore. I guess, it’s just the habit; to always come back home. But if there’s something else I’ve learned through this blog-experience is that even though first impressions matter, you can always take a second look at the situation/person/song because at the end, changing your mind isn’t as bad as it may seem. And sometimes accepting that you were wrong is just as right as being right. Did that make sense? I hope it did.

So back to the point of what has changed… Certainly lots of little things most of them for the best, some hard to forget but the vast majority glad to remember. Overall I’m happy to see that I’m still that girl who appreciates her friends, life surprises and good music taste!

And that’s the reason why I made the following video for you to enoy. 😉

This month I had the opportunity to watch Maroon V playing live in Mexico City. I went to their concert with an amazing friend of mine; we sang out loud, danced a lot (as you can tell while watching the not-so-steady shots on the video #sorrynotsorry) and once again I remembered why I’m so so so in love with music, trips and experiences like this.

I also included a short tribute to one of my best friends, Fer Alemán, who saddly is no longer with us but who I remember dearly. Hoping that through out this compilation of Maroon V hits you can feel the emotion and excitement I felt while listening to such good music with someone really special.

Thanks for reading, watching and sharing the love for music always.

*The lyrics to This Love by Maroon V are on the video.

Feel free to share, comment or like. ❤

94* I’m not the only one

Listening to my 10 year old cousin sing this song broke my heart.

 

I’m not the only one by Sam Smith.

The official music video (which btw features actor Chriss Messina who plays Dr. Dany Castellano on “The Mindy Project” -one of my favorite series-) shows a love story ending because of infidelity but somehow the lyrics of this song resonate in so many more aspects of life.

Is about counting on someone and then watching them let you down. Without reason. Without logic. It seems unbelievable and certainly the pain is unrealistic. And time after, when you should feel like forgiving them for making you sufer… you only want them to forgive you. But forgive you for what? You don’t even know what you did to make them want to leave but still you want them back. Withough logic. Without reason.

Hopefully, or saddly, I know I’m not the only one that has felt this once… or maybe even twice. Not the only one who sometimes feels alone even at a sea of people, not the only one who fakes smiles while trying not to cry, not the only one who’s thinking about someone that has long forgotten me…

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And if you have ever felt like this aswell; know that you’re not the only one either, my dear.

You and me, we made a vow
For better or for worse
I can’t believe you let me down
But the proof’s in the way it hurts

For months on end I’ve had my doubts
Denying every tear
I wish this would be over now
But I know that I still need you here

You say I’m crazy
‘Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done
But when you call me baby
I know I’m not the only one

You’ve been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why
Your heart is unobtainable
Even though Lord knows you kept mine

(…)

I have loved you for many years
Maybe I am just not enough
You’ve made me realize my deepest fear
By lying and tearing us up

88* Cool Kids

If you’re young, try not to get involved with the “too cool” crowd. That quickly becomes the crowd that’s “too cool” to work hard, “too cool” to take chances and “too cool” to succeed.- HONY

Echosmith

EAmerican indie-pop band… ah, I love that sentence.

In 2009 four siblings from Chino, California decided to form a band together.

I’m guessing their parents did many things right because getting all your kids to agree on something must be hard and then getting them to work hard to achieve what they want must be harder!

They released “Talking Dreams” their debut (and so far only) album on October 2013.

FUN FACT: Today’s song was Warner Bros. Records fifth-biggest-selling-digital song of 2014 with 1.3 million downloads sold!

Watch the official web video tricks us with a visual story in which they focus on an “awkward girl” character that seems to be uncomfortable within the cool kids or may be thinking about the cool kids, at the end we understand that the crew isn’t actually the cool “bad ass” crowd but rather just her crowd of friends that fast enough would get her to realize that they are the true cool kids she may be thinking about.

The melody of this song is beautiful for its simplicity, at times it might seem too repetitive but for me it has just the right balance. Even though, the thing I like the most about this song are the lyrics (aka the message) because they describe so well every “average” teenager perspective on high school days… looking into a crowd as if the school belonged to them. Feeling left out, feeling as if you were going too slow but never really acknowledging that may be they are going too fast and never realizing that having a different style will be always more valuable than following a written path.

Thruth is, most of us just want to feel part of a whole specially during our teenage years when we feel so defenseless and so near of the “cruel real world”. All we want is to have someone that has our back and we wish we had the most intimidating guys of the block on our side. Little we know that those guys don’t usually feel as confindent as we see them, that most of their smiles may hide an insecure thought behind.

…And here the coolest lyrics (english/spanish):

She sees them walking in a straight line
That’s not really her style
They all got the same heartbeat
But hers is falling behind
Nothing in this world could ever bring them down
Yeah, they’re invincible
And she’s just in the background

And she/he/they say
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Because all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Like the cool kids

He sees them talking with a big smile
But they haven’t got a clue
Yeah, they’re living the good life
Can’t see what he is going through
They’re driving fast cars
But they don’t know where they’re going
In the fast lane, living life without knowing

(…)

79* You and I

Recenlty a certain youtuber named Ingrid made a inspiring and touching “coming out” video just in time to celebrate along with the U.S. marriage equality laws approval!

This non-discriminatory mindset that more and more people are adopting lately makes most of us feel proud of humanity again, however this post is about another Ingrid…

Ingrid Michaelson

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Born December 8 of 1979 in beautiful New York, Ingrid Ellen Michaelson is an indie-pop singer and songwriter who has released 6 albums since 2005 until today and plays 3 different instruments.

Random facts: she has a degree in Theather, considers herself a feminist and was once a member of an a capella group.

 

Getting down to it… You and I is a beautiful song with a simple rhythm, straight forward lyrics and enchanting vocals and guitar chords.

This song states many goals I would like to achieve some day, like marrying the cutest, funniest guy I’ve ever met, the one I can see myself having a family with in the future without worrying about money but working together to save enough and buy a dreamy house for us, another one for our parents who we love and lots of presents for other people we’ve met and we’ll meet!

Also, I now a girl who’s terribly confused and this boy who has been hurt before but I trust they could make an excelent pair someday, with his looks, her books and the way they could spoon is just a matter of time until they realize they were meant to say “you and I” from the beginning… at least I hope in this way today’s song applies a bit to my life.

One message is clear about this melody: when you have true love nothing else matters.

…And here the honest lyrics (spanish/english):

Don’t you worry there my honey
We might not have any money
But we’ve got our love to pay the bills

Maybe I think you’re cute and funny
Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you if you know what I mean

Oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf

(…)